Thank you Helotes for all the love tonight. WE WILL BE BACK!!! Until then, after party @Whataburger.
I’m playing @Floores tonight with @ShaneSmithMusic. Be there or be boring. 9p.
I'm glad I have friends like @TreyGarbers to tell me that maybe Twitter doesn't care that I had a chili relleno for… https://t.co/W5CU09AcGZ
I want to start a CCR cover band called Creedence Colewater Revisner.
I’m sorry but all the hip hop music I know is from a mix CD @mr_weston_ gave me in 2005. #DemFranchizeBoyz
My wife just gave me the “I’m gonna murder you” face. Happy Saturday.
My nephew just asked me if today was Sunday or Saturday. Daylight savings time hit him hard.
My wife must be crazy if she thinks I can cut out something that I consume in over 50% of my meals. #SayNoToNoPasta
Thank you daylight savings for an extra hour in the day. Thank you alarm clock (that I forgot to set) for an extra hour of sleep.
@TheMinimalists is there an exception to a just in case item? https://t.co/4RMdnU1CYU