When my wife starts talking sweet to me, she’s about to ask me to do something I hate. #NotAboutThatAtticLife
My wife just quoted a lyric from “Luckenbach, TX” without knowing it. I’m glad she’s my one.
When your wife is googling if she can put two hotels on one property it’s time to quit playing. #Monopoly
A box of cereal in my house barely lasts 24 hours.
People who leave a restaurant with leftovers are quitters.
Laurel or Laurel? I guess we’ll never know. #TeamGoldDress
I asked my wife if she wants a shot of Rumple Minze. She said “forget that I’m not @KoeWetzel.”
My wife found out about my rat hole money. She already spent it.
My wife drives as well with her left knee as I drive with both my hands. And yes it is as scary as it sounds.
Guess who’s trying to kill me again as she drives? #MyWife #BoratVoice